A Hero Pressed of Plastic

A Hero Pressed of Plastic

The Orc Armies of Dreadmount laid siege to the Castle of the Knight’s Order. Boulders of exaggerated size, that were covered in spikes, were hurled over and against the outer walls by trebuchets. (They’re a kind of siege weapon.) The astronomical rocks came crashing down on buildings, Knights, and civilians. They even knocked most of the archers off of the walls.

The Castle sat on the coffee table, in a well lit family-room that had carpeted floors. The armies consisted of mostly imaginary soldiers, with a few plastic and cardboard cutout ones littered throughout.

“Trebuchets don’t have that kind of accuracy!” Danny complained, as Jack removed a few more of the archers.

“Yuh-huh.” said Jack, who sat on the Dreadmount side of the Castle. “Trebuchets are a kind-”

“I know what they are, I just told you all about them.” Danny countered. “And that’s not how they work.”

Jack slammed his fist against the table, shaking the plastic Castle, sending even more of the archers off of the wall, and into the Orc horde below. It was a grim day indeed for the knights. The sudden tremors had claimed even more of their number.

But, what’s this? (The narrator exclaimed, unnecessarily.) A Knight, this one plated in shimmering gold armor, bursts forth from the great hall, and makes his way to the outer wall.

“You can’t just introduce a new hero this late in the story. That’s-"

“Not fair?” Danny finished his sentence, and his thought. “If you get to intervene with a few god-powers, then I get a new hero. Besides, you killed Dimitri with a boulder just a minute ago.”


“Okay, cool. We both agree that I get a god-power too.” Danny said, as he placed a small golden Battleaxe into the hands of the little plastic Knight.

Galinar grasped the weapon as it hovered down to him on a golden ray of light.

“THAT’S NOT EVEN FAIR!!!” Jack screamed, in the full glory of a mid-pubescent boy. He could have sworn he heard the voice of an angelic being… singing? The knight knelt, sparing a moment to thank the gods for the gift of the ORC MASSACRE-ER, before resuming his sprint to the outer wall. He passed by the body of Dimitri, crushed beneath a massive spiky rock. Nothing less could have killed such a man. He swore to avenge him. Galinar leapt from a pile of rubble, onto the boulder that created it. From there, he was jumping distance from the outer wall itself. His fellow compatriots marveled at his excessive speed.

What happened next, they could scarcely believe. Galinar’s path led him off the wall! He leapt in an arch, brandishing his axe, ready to strike. (Just like Thor.)
Danny lifted the action figure, positioned him into a karate pose, and dropped him on the other side of the plastic castle walls.

As he landed, a shockwave went out, knocking back many foes. One Orc ran at him from the front with a sword, preparing to run him through. Galinar sliced him in half from stem to stern. Another, he chopped the head off of. And another, he chopped both legs off at the knees.

The horde began to surround him. Without Dimitri, or the other archers, there was none who could cover his back.

“And then, the Orc without legs grabbed him from behind!” Jack shouted with great enthusiasm. Danny considered this for a moment, rubbing his chin, and eyeing the little plastic Knight. On the one hand, Galinar is pretty neat. But on the other hand, he hasn’t failed yet. “Yeah! That’s cool!” Heroes always have to fail at at some point.

The Orc’s hands gripped his foot. He tried to shake free, but the horde did not give him the luxury. He ducked a swipe from one, and came up holding the dropped sword. He plunged it into the belly of the one who swept.

Galinar brought his sword and axe about himself, blocking one blow, then another. He brought down his axe hand, and cut through the helm of a pikeman. But the axe was stuck! He released his grip, and snatched the pike.

He then used the pike to poke them, and keep them a bit farther off. Any who made it past the pike, met his sword.

“This is getting boring.” Jack announced. His hands resting on his chin, propping his head up, and squishing his cheeks.

“Just a minute.”

Galinar turned his attention away from the mob for a moment, and made a swipe at the Orc that held his leg. MISTAKE! The Orcs he had been holding at bay surrounded him, and quickly pinned him, bashing him in the head. And all went black…

“Let’s go build a fort.” Suggested Jack. Without so much as a second thought, the two leapt from the coffee table, and left any thought of the plastic castle behind. The castle sat alone for hours, until late that night when Danny’s mother put it, and all of the pieces back into the toy chest.

The Knight Galinar woke. His head thumped like the Orc’s battle drums. His golden armor had been removed, and chains had replaced them. He was in a cell, in his own castle, with Orc Guards patrolling his own halls.

Galinar shouted at the skies, (Which he could apparently see from his castle cell.) “Why have the gods abandoned us!?!” He fell to his knees, broken. Was it due to his own failure, or did they simply bore of playing games?

Jordan Hawes

Jordan Hawes

Spokane, WA